It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything to this blog. This turned into every single diary I’ve ever tried to keep, any type of blog that required some kind of thought on my part. It was pure laziness that caught me in the end – all because I didn’t really know what I wanted to say.
I wrote a post similar to this around the same time last year. I summarised what kind of year I’d had and what I wanted to achieve as the year progressed – and I was fairly close to getting to some of my goals – but the closer it got to the end of 2016, the more I saw just how little I’d achieved.
The thing about my year was the deeper I got into it, the further along I got into the year and everything I wanted to do, the more I realised how very alone I was in all of it. It became an almost daily occurrence that I would be reminded how my best friend had moved on with their life, ditching me in the background as though I had never existed in the first place. It made everything seem worthless.
I was doing great; not just in work but in everything around it too. My writing was coming along great, my reading challenge was going fantastic, my family surrounded me as always. But my brain kept focusing on all the things that reminded me of other times and it got to me. I continued reading, continued having thoughts on books and a desire to write about them and recommend them. I wanted to speak with people about these stories I’d found online because I had no one to talk to about them in real life… I still don’t if I’m being honest.
So that’s one of my goals for this year.
I want to write more, I want to practice and get better. I want to actually have my voice be heard when some people may want to shut me out forever.
I’m going to make sure to post on here more regularly from now on.
Last year was pretty shit so this year I’m going to try my best to make it as great for me as possible.